Courage

“From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.” (Matthew 16:21)

One can debate with others if Jesus needed courage as he marched towards Jerusalem and his ultimate death. I mean after all he was and is God! What is not debatable is that there was an ultimate goal in mind; his dying on behalf of others. Reaching a goal requires courage for sure as there are always set-backs along the way. I recently came across several examples of courage this past week.

The first was Juliana Hess Ramhalo Ortigao. Juliana was a 10-year-old girl who attended a local school here in Fort Collins as a fifth grader. A year ago, she was diagnosed with the rarest form of pediatric brain tumors. And one that ultimately took her life. But not before inspiring thousands of people around the world with the courage to face this silent killer. Her Memorial Service last Friday was a celebration of the courage that Juliana lived out until the final days of her life.

I recently watched the movie “Free Solo” that follows Alex Honnold as he “free” climbs El Capitan in Yosemite. With no ropes or harnesses; just hands and feet he scaled to the top of a sheer, 3000 ft. granite wall. It was a feat that had never been done before and is a literal seat of your pants, white knuckle test of endurance, strength and courage. 

One of our Early Childhood volunteers in our Children’s Ministry was recently diagnosed with a tumor on a nerve in her neck. To remove this tumor would be tricky as a small mistake by the surgeon could leave her paralyzed. The tumor was already affecting her ability to use her left arm and if left untreated would ultimately kill her. In spite of thinking about what could happen, she went forward with the surgery and is now recovering with a positive outcome.

I share this because all of these examples required courage in the face of insurmountable odds. I don’t know about you, but I am inspired by people who have the courage to face adversity and persevere. 

Perhaps you are facing something that seems insurmountable in your life right now. I hope that you will be encouraged  by these examples and the example of our Lord as you face whatever might require courage from you.

$1.49 Pushrod

A $1.49 pushrod ended the relationship between myself and my truck. 30 years ago, I had purchased a 1954 Chevy Truck. A classic pickup that I displayed in car shows and to this day it is still my favorite vehicle that I have owned. I absolutely loved that truck. I drove it for 3 years while I was in the Army stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Toward the end of my stint in the Army I noticed that my truck began losing oil pressure. I shared this issue with my buddies who I worked with. We were all mechanics and after looking at the engine of my truck we all came to the conclusion that we needed to rebuild the engine. BIG mistake! We set about tearing the engine apart and then putting it back together over the course of a couple of weeks. But once we put it back together it wouldn’t run. No matter how much we tried we could not get that thing to start. And by this time my enlistment in the Army was up and I need to make my way back home to California.  

So, I set off on a solo trip across country with a Budget rental moving truck towing my Chevy behind me. I ended up back in California where I shard with my cousin, who was into hot rods and classic vehicles, what the problem was. He went about looking at the engine and very quickly determined the source of my problem…a bent push rod. Somehow, my buddies and I had missed this important flaw. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache and a lot of money had I first of all sought out the counsel of experts who specialized in Chevy trucks, instead of relying on the counsel of myself and my buddies.

Seeking out an expert is always a good thing especially when it comes in areas of personal growth, marriage and relationships. And in my opinion there isn’t a better expert that a qualified Christian counselor. So often we think that we can fix things ourselves. And perhaps over time you have made some half-hearted attempts to get things right in your world. But, like a diet that doesn’t stick, you end up going back to the same habits that you once had. I’m of the belief that everyone needs counseling. All of us can use the help of an expert. One who can provide us with the tools to navigate the messy areas of our lives. With us still at the front end of the New Year take a posture of humility and go sit with an expert. It just might change your life!

The Things We Miss - Part II

I recently came across a very interesting podcast by Malcolm Gladwell titled, “Analysis, Parapraxis, Elvis: The One Song the King Couldn’t Sing”. You can listen to it here . It’s fifty fascinating minutes where Gladwell gleans information from a paper written in 2005 by Psychology professors, Alan C. Elms & Bruce Heller.

Parapraxis, or what is more commonly referred to as a Freudian slip, is something that we have all been guilty of at one time or another. We mean to say or write something but end up, unconsciously, saying or writing something entirely different. Gladwell dives into the meaning of parapraxis as it relates to Elvis and his difficulty in singing the hugely popular song “Are You Lonesome Tonight”. Shortly after he was discharged from the Army in 1960, Elvis recorded the song in a dark New York City recording studio at four o’clock in the morning. The song is a haunting ballad about pain, abandonment and longing for a lost love. Although it is a song that Elvis sang hundreds of times over the course of his career, there is a portion of the song that he just could not get through without messing up the lyrics. Elvis would sing the intro and outro parts of the song almost flawlessly, but in between is a difficult spoken word section. This section is borderline corny and heavy on sentiment. It is where Elvis is at his most vulnerable as a singer and as a person.

There are ten live recordings of the song in which you can hear Elvis make 109 mistakes; almost all of them are during this spoken word part. As an Elvis fan I have heard the song hundreds of times and although it’s not my favorite, I do like the song. It’s the later versions, where he messes up the song the most, that I don’t care for so much. Oh, sure you could chalk up the mistakes in the later versions as Elvis just having fun with the song, but I have always wondered why would the most popular singer in the world consistently put in his playlist a song that he always struggled with? He never particularly cared for the song and only recorded it as a favor for the wife of his manager, Colonel Tom Parker. So, for Elvis to consistently play the song and screw it up is bewildering. People of that kind of celebrity typically want to put their best foot forward; minimize their mistakes. But not Elvis. The reason that he frequently sang the song, as Elms and Heller point out, is that Elvis was unconsciously wanting people to know about his pain. Although he was the most popular entertainer in the world, he was also the loneliest person on the planet and once said, “I get lonesome, right in the middle of a crowd.” What is astounding is that at the time nobody saw it. At the time everyone saw his jumbling of the words as playful forgetfulness instead of a cry for help. Or perhaps, like the bleeding woman in my previous blog post, people saw it but didn’t quite know what to do about it.

My point in all of this is not to talk about my favorite singer, but instead to use Elvis as an example of the fact that not everyone who appears to have it together does. That perhaps those little nuances, that our family members, friends, or co-workers display on a frequent basis, aren’t just lovable or annoying quirks. But perhaps they tell us something deeper about who they are as a person. A sort of unconsciously open window to their soul. And as so often happens we miss it.

Christian singer and songwriter, Matthew West sings a song called “The Beautiful Things We Miss”:

I don't wanna miss it
I don't wanna look back someday and find
Everything that really mattered
Was right in front of me this whole time
Open up my eyes, Lord
Keep me in the moment just like this
Before the beautiful things we love
Become the beautiful things we miss

The question that I have been pondering lately, is do I slow down enough, do I care enough to enter through that window and engage in conversation that just might unearth who the real person is.

As it relates to Elvis, Gladwell reminds us that:

“Parapraxis is not failure. When the performer slips, the audience is not cheated; it's the opposite. Parapraxis is a gift. Mistakes reveal our vulnerabilities. They are the way the world understands us, the way performers make their performances real.

And isn’t this true for all of us?

The Things We Miss - Part I

When my oldest child was about five or six years old, he received a “Where’s Waldo” book. It was a favorite in our house for quite a while as we were determined to find Waldo as he was placed against a backdrop of busy scenes. Even though he was in plain sight he was easy to overlook. That’s how I am. I tend to not see the things that are at times right in front of me. This is especially true when it comes to being attentive to the needs of people. Being more sensitive and thoughtful is an area that I am constantly trying to improve on. In my quest for the “next thing” I am not very mindful of the things, and people that are right in front of me. There are two stories I would like to share in this two-part post. The first has to do with a story from Scripture and the other about my favorite celebrity.

For twelve years the woman had tried everything to cure her incessant bleeding. Without money and hope she followed the crowd to see Jesus. Surely, she had heard about his ability to heal and had gone out of her way to see for herself if the rumors were true. In the midst of the bustling crowd, she sees him, and in desperation reaches out. For some reason this woman in need is often depicted in paintings as being on the ground reaching towards Jesus. Perhaps she is portrayed that way for dramatic effect. In her reaching out to Jesus she displays a vulnerability and eagerness to try anything to escape her current situation. She is throwing caution to the wind and as author Jodi Picoult says,

“The desperate usually succeed because they have nothing to lose”.

Local doctors couldn’t help her, and at this point in her life she had nothing to lose and her health and well-being to gain. You would understand if she had shown up as a wild woman who frantically places herself before Jesus face to face; grabbing his shoulders and begging for healing. But perhaps, because of the embarrassment of her condition and understanding the cultural norms at the time, that would have been too much. So instead she takes a subtler approach and simply touches the fringe of his cloak. After years of being unnoticed, chastised and overlooked, and not wanting to bring attention to her very personal situation, Matthew records:

          “She said to herself, “If only I touch His cloak, I will be healed.”

How many times was this woman passed by? How many times did her condition become such a part of her identity that the people closest to her just played it off or ignored her? I often wonder if her condition kept her confined to her home? Over time did she become a phantom that people in the outside world caught the rare glimpses of? How did all of this play on her psyche? Her family? Her relationship with God? Was she ever visited by others? Did anyone care or were people too busy and she was simply overlooked?

The condition that she tried to keep hidden, ultimately hid her. How many people in our lives are suffering a similar fate? Their condition keeps them from the outside world, and they become separated from the love of others because they think that they are unlovable?

The morning the bleeding woman woke up, her prayer, her sign was to be healed by Jesus’ cloak. In desperation, on this day, she knew something had to change. She just couldn’t continue unless God made a way. Apparently, it was the gravity of her situation and the faith in her heart that caused Jesus to stop everything and ask those closest to him who had touched him. Wherever Jesus went he drew crowds of people. People that were probably always reaching out for him; touching him. And this scene was no different. With a throng of people around him it was impossible to know who touched him. But Jesus recognized that there was something different about her touch; something in the desperation of her need that caused him to take notice. Healing power had gone out from him and I imagine as Jesus stops, almost in slow motion he begins looking at the dozens of faces that were surrounding him; looking for the one who touched him. And finally, his eyes meet hers.

Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”

As the woman discovered, there is something to humbling ourselves and admitting our need for God that draws his attention. In faith she was healed and her life changed dramatically as she was no longer held hostage by what afflicted her body.

With us still at the beginning of the New Year one of the things that I will improve on is being more attentive to those who are suffering in silence.

Watching for God While Waiting

Painting by Julia Nikitina

When my middle son, Owen, was about seven or eight years old I found him just sitting in the middle of our living room not really doing anything. I said, “Owen what are you doing? He replied, “I’m waiting”. I asked him what are you waiting for? He said, “Nothing, I’m just waiting”. With Thanksgiving over Christians now turn their attention towards Christmas, and for kids especially, now begins the anxious wait before Christmas. But waiting is hard isn’t it? Patience isn’t a virtue that most of us have.

One of my favorite authors Henri Nouwen says:

“Waiting is an awful desert between where a person is and where they want to go. And people do not like such a place. They want to get out of it by doing something.”

For us this, “doing something”, especially at Christmas usually involves spending money and eating food.

Waiting, however, doesn’t always mean inactivity. Waiting can also include watching. Whenever you are waiting for something you are also typically watching for something as well. For example, if you’re waiting on a bus you are also watching for the bus. Or if you’re waiting on your kids you’re also watching for your kids. The problem with waiting is that we tend to get so focused on the thing that we are waiting for that we lose sight of the things that are going on around us. As this relates to Christmas there is usually this buildup that culminates in this flurry of activity as we get closer to it. And before you know it is all over and what are we left with bills and broken toys and, “What will I ever use that for.”

In regard to Christmas I wanted to make this season of waiting more meaningful for me than just all of the hustle and bustle that typically goes with it. About 15 years ago I became disillusioned with the Christmas season and found the whole message of Christ was being lost. The introduction to the book titled “Watch for the Light” says:

 “We sense the deeper meanings of the season but grasp at them in vain; and in the end, all the bustle leaves us frustrated and drained.”

That’s exactly how I felt. I felt frustrated and I thought I need to do something to make Christmas more meaningful for me? I needed to figure out something to help me Watch for God While Waiting. What I stumbled upon was this thing called Advent.

Advent is certainly not a new thing. But it was new to me. Advent is a short season that traces its roots all the way back to the 4th century. Many of you who come from a “Higher Church” background such as Catholic or Episcopalian or Lutheran are well acquainted with celebrating Advent. Advent is to Christmas what Lent is to Easter.

The season of Advent begins on the 4th Sunday before Christmas, so for this year Advent began this past Sunday. It’s meant to be a time of Spiritual contemplation and renewal. To celebrate Advent is essentially to celebrate two aspects of the Christian faith. One aspect is celebrating Christ’s coming as a child into the world; the First Advent. And secondly, to celebrate the fact that Christ will come again someday, which is the Second Advent. The word Advent is derived from the Latin word adventus which means coming. Advent then is essentially a period of expectant waiting; waiting for Christ.

This idea of waiting for the birth of Christ was an event that people had been waiting on for centuries. Beginning in the Book of Genesis there was already a foreshadowing that took place concerning the arrival of Christ.

“He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.” Genesis 3:15

God in talking to the serpent in the Garden shares the first of many prophecies telling us that the Messiah was going to arrive at some point in time. What people had to do was Watch for God While Waiting.

Keep in mind that the focal point to the Scriptural narrative comes in the person of Jesus Christ. Scripture was written over about a 1,500-yr. period. It was written by over 40 different authors, in three different languages. And the unique thing about it is that all of it is pointing towards, in some shape or fashion, the person of Jesus Christ…this Messiah. The person whom God would work out His redemptive plan to the world. Until the Messiah came people had to Watch for God While Waiting.

The prophecies concerning Christ’s coming into the world were usually placed against the backdrop of despair. God, from the beginning of time, has been working out His plan through his people the Israelites. And as in any parent/child relationship there would be times when the Israelites would grow impatient in their waiting for God and they would get off track. In their impatience they would take their eyes off of God. To get them back on track, much like you and I do as parents, God would bring about discipline to the Israelites with the hope that they would turn back to Him. Typically, God would use other people groups to bring about discipline to Israel when they would get off course. During these times of discipline God would also send Prophets, individuals whom God chose to give a message to the Hebrew people. These messages would either be messages of condemnation or messages of hope. The messages of hope usually revolved around the fact that in the near future God would be sending a Savior, a Messiah to save His people from their wayward ways. In the book of Isaiah, we read one such prophecy:

“Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”  Isaiah 7:14

Another says,

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6-7

These particular prophecies were written approximately 700 yrs. before the actual birth of Christ. They were written by the prophet Isaiah who lived in Israel during a time of great oppression by a group of people called the Assyrians. Isaiah’s message in the midst of occupation and turmoil was one of hope. He was telling them that a Deliverer would be coming soon. What the people had to do was Watch for God While Waiting.

From that point on the wait was 700 yrs. During that long wait God would provide additional clues as to who this Messiah was and where He would come from. Another notable prophecy comes out of the book of Micah:

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times."

Micah 5:2

By looking at these prophecies we can determine that the Messiah would be born of a virgin in the town of Bethlehem. A popular Pastor in the 1800’s Phillip Brooks said,

  “It was not suddenly and unannounced that Jesus came into the world. He came into a world that had been prepared for him. The whole Old Testament is the story of a special preparation…Only when all was ready, only in the fullness of His time did Jesus come.”

It is interesting that after the last of the Old Testament Prophets had spoken and the last book of the Old Testament written…God became silent. For 400 yrs.

No Prophets.

No dreams.

Nothing.

That is until a baby’s cry was heard in a stable in the small Judean town of Bethlehem. The cry of this baby was the cry of God, announcing that He is finally here.

The wait is over.

The Hope of the world had arrived.

The Messiah had come.

The message of Advent is essentially a message of hope.

A Hope that there is something better.

A Hope in a greater good.

A Hope that this can’t be all there is to life.

A Hope in something eternal.

A Hope that I will see again those who have gone before me.

A Hope that sin and pain and death are not victorious.

So, as we all embark on our wait before Christmas be mindful for God speaking through the people and circumstances around us. My hope for myself and for you is that these next few weeks we slow down and enjoy the wait and Watch for God While Waiting.

Lions

30 years ago, I was half way through my four-year stint in the Army. At the time I was attached to the 362nd Engineer Battalion and on one occasion spent three months in Kenya building a landing strip for the Kenyan government. Our base camp was about 90 miles south of Nairobi out in the middle of nowhere. As we set about clearing the brush for the landing strip, we uncovered Black Mambas, Forest Cobra’s, and Monitor Lizards. Every day we worked under the watchful eye of dozens of baboons who seemingly couldn’t get enough of the entertainment that we provided. Road graders, bulldozers and water trucks kicked up plumes of dust that made life miserable as we worked 10-hour days under the hot equatorial sun. All of this heavy equipment required constant maintenance by a host of mechanics of which I was one.  Outside of the animal sightings one of the things that we like to do in our off time was play cards with some Kenyan soldiers. Of course, nothing goes better with cards than warm Tusker beer! After one particular rousing night of cards and beer it was time to head back to our base camp, which was on a dirt road about a mile from where the Kenyans were staying. It was a moonless night which allowed for the sky to explode with stars. I was rather enjoying this late-night walk when I heard an unmistakable sound. It was a sound that literally made me stop in my tracks so that I could get a bearing of where it was coming from. Have you ever been in a situation where you are coming up from a darkened basement or walking in the woods when you just know there is something behind you? The hair raises on your arms, your heart starts beating faster, because you just know there is either a demon or Michael Myers about to get you. And then once you get to your place of safety you have a chuckle about how foolish you were. This time though the sound wasn’t a figment of my imagination, there actually was something behind me and it was a lion.

While there aren’t many lions roaming in Southern California where I grew up, I had watched enough National Geographic shows to recognize the distinctive sound of a lion. Even in my drunken stupor I knew there was absolutely zero chance of mistaking this lions grunt for anything else. Remembering that a lion’s call can be heard for up to several miles didn’t bring me much comfort either. Not knowing how far this animal was from me I determined to stay on the dirt road that separated our camps and walk steadily toward the one thing that brought me comfort, and I can still see it to this day; the light from our base camp off in the distance. In spite of the roaring lion around me I could see the end in sight.

One of my favorite stories from the Old Testament is the story of the prophet Daniel. Having been exiled to a land far from his home Daniel became a trusted advisor in the royal court of Darius the King. Through politics and power struggles Daniel became the object of disdain to many of the other government officials. Their jealousy drove them to plot the demise of Daniel by unwittingly involving the King. A plot was hatched to convince the King to send out an edict that any person who bowed down and prayed to anyone other than the King would be subjected to death by lions. These officials knew that Daniel was a pious man who prayed often and that his devotion would be his undoing:

“Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.” Daniel 6:10 

I love this painting by Briton Riviere. In it he shows Daniel with his back to the lions, but more importantly his face is steadfastly pointed toward God. In spite of the ominous fate that awaited those who disobeyed the edict, Daniel prayed fully knowing that he was signing his own death warrant. He prayed in spite of the voices that were roaring around him. He prayed having kept his eyes on the One he was praying to. Daniel was resolute in his devotion to God and would have loudly sung the song “Who You Say I Am” made popular by Hillsong. One verse is below:

I am chosen

Not forsaken

I am who You say I am

You are for me

Not against me

I am who You say I am

Daniel knew who he was; a devote follower of the King Most High! Not even the roar of ravenous lions could distract him from his purpose in life.

So what lions are in your life right now roaring around you; scary voices, negative thoughts, that are filling you with fear? In facing your fears are you walking alone, or do you have someone to journey with you? And finally, what do you have your eyes set upon to help you stay the course? Can you see the end? Is there hope? Let me leave you with the words of the Psalmist who writes:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
   where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
   he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—
   the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—
           he will watch over your life;

 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
            both now and forevermore.

Daniel's Answer to the King, Briton Riviere, 1890

Leadership & Bananas

Several years ago, I came across an article on how the Cavendish banana was going extinct. I happen to enjoy a banana every morning and might throw in one with my ice cream in the evening. So, the thought of bananas going extinct caused me great concern. You might be thinking what’s the big deal about the Cavendish going extinct? Come to find out 99% of the bananas consumed in the world are of the Cavendish variety. As I read more about this banana apocalypse I learned that Cavendish bananas are sterile and seedless. Because of this they are essentially clones of one another, which is a bad thing. Their lack of reproductive diversity leaves them susceptible to disease, which is where the Cavendish problem comes in. Apparently, the bad guy is this whole herbaceous drama is Panama Disease; a fungus that essentially ruins the fruit. Banana exterminating fungi are pretty common, in fact the Cavendish replaced the Gros Michel as the banana of choice all the way until the 1960’s. Up until then the Gros Michel Gros was the banana that was the most durable and was able to withstand travel to distant countries.

I share this with you because you and I as leaders are going extinct. We are going extinct in the sense that at some point we are going to either move, retire, or die. Contrary to what we might believe we don’t have an especially long shelf life. Because of this we should always have the mindset of preparing, equipping, enabling people to take over our roles when we are gone. As leaders there are several roles in our organization that we should be fulfilling to the best of our ability. One of those should be developing other leaders. Here are three quick ways to do that:

1.     Identify…

People under your leadership who are gifted and provide them with more responsibilities. In doing this you are validating who they are and how God has gifted them. You are also enabling them to increase their influence and their ability to impact other people. Conversely, if you as the leader don’t provide more opportunities you run the risk of that person looking for opportunities outside of your organization. The last thing that you want to do as a leader is put people in a box that limits their potential.

2.     Give…

People an opportunity to see what you see. Jesus spent three years training a ragtag group of men. They ate, slept and recreated together. And in doing so they saw firsthand what it meant to be a leader of a team of people from diverse backgrounds and abilities. They saw what it took to use the individual’s strengths as a way to better the team. They saw how to handle negativity in hostile situations. They also saw what it meant to persevere when all hope seemed lost.

We can do the same with the people that we lead. Many times, leaders can be protective of their position and feel threatened by especially gifted people that they oversee. Don’t allow yourself to go there. Invite a leader to board mtg.’s that you oversee, speak to influential people, anything that might give them insight into what a day in your position of leadership looks like.

3.     Equip…

People with the tools needed to succeed. The first tool comes from the experience that you have gained over the years. Share the highs and lows of your career. Secondly, provide training opportunities in the form of conferences or day long workshops. Anything that you can do to expose up and coming leaders to high level leaders in your industry. This training will not only make the person attending better but the information that they bring back will make your organization better also.  

By implementing these three practices you will create a healthy work environment that ensures your influence lives on long after you are gone.

Where are You?

Toward evening they heard the Lord God walking about in the garden, so they hid themselves among the trees. The Lord God called to Adam, "Where are you?"

                                                                      Genesis 3:8-9

“Where are you?” It’s the first question asked in Scripture. And it was asked of the only man alive…who was in hiding. On the surface this seems like a humorous question doesn’t it? I mean, after all, this is God. Of course, God knows where Adam is, nobody can hide from God. The thing about God’s question was that he wasn’t asking in regard to Adam’s physical location. He wasn’t physically lost…he was spiritually lost. Where are you Adam? It’s almost as if you can hear the pain in God’s voice. In my mind I picture God as the loving Father with his arms open wide asking, “Where are you, why have you strayed? I did everything that I could to provide you with a home, a wife, everything that you would need I gave to you. Where are you Adam?” You get a feeling that there is almost a longing for what used to be. And it’s true because the closeness that once existed in their relationship has now been broken.

Some of you have asked the very same question, haven’t you? You’ve asked it of your spouse as you’ve come to a place in your marriage where you feel like he or she isn’t the same person that you once knew. There is a distance now that has replaced the connection you once had. Either out loud or in your head you’ve asked the question, “Where are You.?”

You’ve asked it of your children. Your own flesh and blood that you were once so close to have now completely refused your authority. They have left your house, your care, and you’re the one standing with open arms asking the question, “Where are you?”

Although there are many lessons to learn from this passage the one that I have been wrestling with the most is trying to learn from my mistakes. After Adam and Eve’s eyes were opened and their innocence lost they were overcome with embarrassment and shame. Author and speaker Dr. Brene Brown says that, “Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.” We see that with Adam and Eve. The normalcy of their daily communion with God has now been replaced with disengagement. They are running; they are hiding. And the last thing that they want to do is talk to God.

It’s important to remember that there is a difference between guilt and shame. Oftentimes we equate them as being the same, they are not. Dr. Brown helps us understand the difference:

“I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, ore failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.”

Adam and Eve felt that they were no longer worthy of connection with God. Intimacy with the Creator had been lost. As they became aware of their sin the first thing that they did was to hide their bodies with fig leaves. The courage and confidence that they once had in their relationship with God, has now been replaced with fear and embarrassment…and they find themselves hiding in the bushes. I can relate to this. I have been in their shoes; wanting to hide from some stupid thing that I have done. It’s hard to own up when you mess up isn’t it? I can’t tell you how many times I have done something that I didn’t want anyone to know about? All of us have. Adam and Eve knew that they had messed up and they couldn’t run far enough away from God. One of my favorite authors is Henri Nouwen. He says this about hiding:

“The farther I run away from the place where God dwells, the less I am able to hear the voice that calls me the Beloved, and the less I hear that voice, the more entangled I become in the manipulations and power games of the world.” 
                                                               Return of the Prodigal Son

 Here is the good news!

God is always in pursuit of the lost. I think one of the interesting things about this passage is that God was out walking. He was out walking looking for his creation. This provides a beautiful illustration for us because no matter where you are at in life, no matter what you have done; God is looking for you, God is pursuing you.

God in pursuit IS the story of God. From the very beginning of the Scriptures until the very end, what is portrayed is a love story with God as the pursuer. The question, “Where are you” is a question asked by someone who is pursuing.

-         When Moses was running he ran right into a burning bush.

-         When Jonah was running he ran right into the mouth of a gaping fish.

-         If a sheep is lost Jesus tells us that the shepherd leaves the 99 behind to go in pursuit of the one that is lost.

-         When the Prodigal Son decides to come home his daddy, who had spent countless days scanning the horizon for his son, upon seeing him runs after him and proclaims, “This son of mine was lost but is now found.”

-         Jesus tells us his purpose for coming to earth was to seek and save the lost.

He also tells us in the book of John:

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you.” John 15:16

Again, in John, Jesus says:

          “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.” John 6:44

And then finally:

  “We love, because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

I hope that you’re getting the picture, God pursues you because he loves you?

So, where are you? It’s a question that requires examination and it’s intensely personal. Only you know where you are in your relationship with God. You and I can put on our happy church faces as much as we want; we can project to others that we have our stuff together but only you really know.  Rabbi Marc Gellman says:

“God did not need to ask Adam where he was, it was Adam who needed to be asked; and God does not need to ask each one of us, it is we who need to be asked. The High Holy Days are the time when we are asked by God together and alone to admit for good and ill where we are, to render a spiritual accounting not of our careers but our compassion, not of our wealth but our wisdom, not of our gains but our gifts, not of our physical fitness but of the fitness of our souls.”

So, where are you?

https://brenebrown.com/blog/2013/01/14/shame-v-guilt/

You Are Forgiven

I came like you

To show a way

I know what you're going through

My love will always stay

It doesn’t take much to dwell into your past

I have seen it all before, because of Me it won't last

You are forgiven

You are forgiven

I call unto you to bring you back to me

There is nothing you can do to win my love for you

I have covered all your sin, so you can live again

Holding on to what is true

I gave my life for you

You are forgiven

You are forgiven

Your failures, mistakes I take them all away

My comfort, my grace, is new to you each day

Your failures, mistakes I take them all away

My comfort, my grace, is new to you each day

I gave my life so I can say I give forgiveness to you today

I gave my life so I can say I give forgiveness to you today

I gave my life so I can say I give forgiveness to you today

I gave my life so I can say I give forgiveness to you today

I call unto you to bring you back to me

There is nothing you can do to win my love for you

I have covered all your sin, so you can live again

Holding on to what is true

I gave my life for you

You are forgiven, you are forgiven, you are forgiven, I am forgiven, I give forgiveness

I was first introduced to him as I was lying on our living room sofa. It was 1973 and through sleepy eyes he appeared on the TV screen. I was enthralled. The black hair and the white jumpsuit, even as a kid, I thought was just so dang cool. My next recollection of him was a couple of years later when my mom, her sisters and my mom’s sister in law were at our house excitedly getting ready to go see him perform at the Anaheim Convention Center. What really sticks out to me from that night was how excited they all were. They were talking over themselves while making last minute efforts to locate purses and sweaters and lipstick. I vividly remember thinking how I wanted to come along and be a part of something that they were so excited about. About a year later it was the Summer of 1977. My cousins from Massachusetts were out to visit. My oldest cousin who was about 17 at the time couldn’t wait to go to the beach cause he had heard that girls wore “French bikinis’. I also remember that, because of their visit, myself and my brother had to sleep on the floor in the den. This particular day it was hot, not unusual for Southern California in August. Me, my brother, and this older cousin were outside playing catch with a football when the phone rang. I ran in the house to answer it and my mom’s youngest sister was crying and asked if my mom was home. I said that she was at the mall but would be back in just a few minutes. Through tears my aunt wanted me to tell my mom that Elvis had died. I don’t remember how I felt at that moment. I knew from her reaction that this was a big deal and that I had to tell my mom. I hung up the phone and went back to playing football until a short time later my mom pulled into our driveway and I shared the news with her.

It’s hard to understand the impact that a celebrity can have on your life? It’s a weird thing isn’t it? I mean most of us don’t know the celebrity whom we adore. They seem to live lives so far removed from our own everyday lives. And yet they can have such a profound impact on us. We all have our favorites, don’t we? From musicians to movies stars to sports figures. We all have people whom we look up to or most identify with. Elvis was that guy with my family. Both my mom and dad loved Elvis. I grew up listening to the record that my dad received as a Christmas present from his parents when he was in the Air Force. It was Elvis’ first record on RCA in 1956. My dad liked to tell the story that when he opened the gift his buddies started making fun of him for getting a record by a guy named Elvis. Aunt’s, uncles, and grandparents in my family all loved Elvis. All except my mom’s parents. They thought that Elvis was nothing but a sex crazed trouble maker who was leading the youth of our country into the very pit of hell.

I had my own journey with Elvis. From those early beginnings of being introduced to him to full blown fandom throughout my teenage years that included posters and pictures on my bedroom wall. Over the years I have come to memorize hundreds of his songs and have watched countless hours of videos, concerts and movies. There were about 10 years in my 20’s where I didn’t listen to Elvis much at all. Not sure why. I just felt that I needed to branch out and enjoy other music. Since that time, I picked up my Elvis habit again and after having three kids of my own I wanted them to know Elvis as well.

As I’ve gotten older I now see Elvis as a symbol of the contradictions that live in all of us. We all struggle with the desires to do what is right while also battling the temptations of the world. The lessons that I have learned from his life have been profound. In both the good and bad he symbolized America in so many ways. He learned the importance of perfecting one’s craft and having started out as dirt poor he rose to the pinnacle of American wealth and stardom. Along the way he did the unthinkable, at the height of his career, he joined the Army. Can you imagine any singer today doing such a thing? Later in life he became the epitome of American excess; from money to cars to women and drugs. Certainly not a lifestyle to emulate by any means. And in the end, that’s the lifestyle that killed him.

Today I will focus on the good that he brought to our world. And to commemorate the 41 years since his passing, tonight my 12 yr. old and I will venture over to our local movie theatre and watch a showing of Elvis’ 68 Comeback Special.  I have seen this show many times but never with my son. As we watch we will be reminded of just how great of an entertainer he was. In the end it all comes down to the music anyway. Isn’t that why we fell in love with him in the first place?